Tuesday, April 6, 2010

B is for Belligerent

So i 'm a few days behind on the A-Z challenge, but i figure i'll catch up here before it's too late.

Belligerent: -adjective

  1. war-like; given to waging war.

  2. of warlike character; aggressively hostile; bellicose

These are the definitions I found on Dictionary.com. The word of the day is belligerent because at the moment, I'm struggling with 5 year old. I admit, I'm letting him get to me. I'm letting other things get to me.

I guess my operational definition of this term has been expanded. I typically use this word just to mean disobedient/rebellious, which I think they could certainly fit under the umbrella of the denotative meaning. In order to try and relate this to contenment, I feel it necessary to back up and take a deeper look at what I am really dealing with.

Initially, I feel that he is the one who is being belligerent. I tell him to do something simple like cleaning up his trains before he comes downstairs for breakfast. It is not unreasonable to expect him to do this when he's told. But as I replay the actual events in my mind, I was the one who was being belligerent towards him--needling him saying at least 5 times before I went back downstairs that the trains were to be cleaned up, his bed was to be made and his clothes were to be put on. I was the one with the battering ram pumelling over him.

Waging war is something that occurs when there is a threat of something lost. I'm not going further in that line except to say this. I was the one who felt I stood to lose his respect/obedience/whatever so I was the one who was belligerent. He was merely returning the volley.

Now, to tie this in with the theme of learning contentment:

  • My job is to tell the boy, not to poke and prod him verbally. It's my job to teach him responsibility...not to manipulate or nag him into doing what he should do. I need to step back and let him learn this. I need to step back and give him the opportunity to fail, to face consequences, to make choices based on what HE can control, not on external pressure from me.
  • I need to remember who he is...He's little. He's not an adult. He's not a teen. He's 5.
  • It is my job to keep myself at peace, doing whatever I can to maintain if only the facade of peace (like a duck on a lake)


  1. I've got you signed up for the Blogging From A to Z April Challenge. Good to see that you've already started. You might want to skim over the posts on my site for the past few days to get some additional information. And don't forget to visit as many of the sites of the participants as you can, follow, and leave comments so they will come back to your site.
    Glad you could join us.

  2. This is good. My very name means contentious, and I think my daughter got it, too.


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I belong to Jesus. I am married to Dan. I am mom to Pearce and Garner. I am a musician, a cook, a taxi driver, a teacher, a manager. I am me.