J and K are for JUST KEEP...

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
-Dory from Finding Nemo.

It's funny how you can find a little inspiration even from a cartoon movie that the kids just HAVE to watch over and over and over and over ad infinitum. When I joined this challenge, I was already behind. I knew I had to do something to catch up. That's when I started thinking of this song.

I remember when I used to teach school and they'd have awards ceremony. The speaker for one of those events told about a man who'd never missed a day of work in 40 years. I suppose you'd be hard pressed to find many people with the same work ethic. Those who come to work every day, even when not feeling their best, to do their share.

As I sit and type this, I have a 2 year old calling, persistently, "mommy....mommy....mommy,... MOMMY, MOoooooooooo0mmy..." Even at this tender age, she understands that even if I answer her, she has to just keep calling my name so that I'll come into the kitchen to answer her request (or demand, depending on which side of the wall you're on).

Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray
and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither
feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept
coming to him with the plea, ' Grant me justice against my adversary.

"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I
don't fear God or care about ment, yet because this widow [just] keeps bothering
me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out
with her coming.

And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God
bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will
he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and
quickly, too. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" Luke 18:1-8

How many times do I just ask and assume that God said no? Why can't I be more persistent like my kids. They NEVER seem relent when it comes to asking for bzzert, a toy, to play a game.

Lord, help me learn this lesson well...to JUST KEEP going, to JUST KEEP asking, to JUST KEEP seeking, to JUST KEEP knocking. Open my eyes that I may see life as you see it, not as it appears to me.

He Is (yes, that is TWO letters, I'm closing in!)

In Genesis, HE's the Breath of Life
In Exodus, the Passover Lamb
In Leviticus, He's the High Priest
Numbers, the Fire by Night
Deuteronomy, He's Moses' voice
In Joshua, He is Salvation's Choice

Judges, Law Giver
Ruth, the Kinsman-Redeemer
First and Second Samuel, our Trusted Prophet
In Kings and Chronicles He's Sovereign

Ezra, True and Faithful Scribe
Nehemiah, He's rebuilder of broken walls and lives
In Esther, He's Mordecai's Courage
In Job, the Timeless Redeemer

In Psalms, He's our Morning Song
In Proverbs, He's Wisdom's Cry
Ecclesiastes, the Time and Season
Song of Solomon, He is the lover's dream



He is, He is, HE IS!



In Isaiah, He's Prince of Peace
In Jeremiah, the weeping prophet
In Lamentations, the cry for Israel
Ezekiel, the call from sin

In Daniel, the stranger in the fire

In Hosea, He is forever faithful
In Joel, He's the Spirit's power
In Amos, the arms that carry us

In Obadiah, He's the Lord our Savior
In Jonah, He's the great missionary

In Micah, the promise of peace
In Nahum, He is our strength and shield

In Habakkuk and Zephaniah, he is pleading for revival
In Haggai, He restores a lost heritage
In Zechariah, our Fountain

In Malachi, He is the Son of Righteousness with Healing in his Wings


He is, He is, HE IS!

In Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, He is God, Man, Messiah
In Acts, He is fire from Heaven
In Romans, He's the grace of God
In Corinthians, the power of love
In Galatians, He is freedom from the curse of sin



In Ephesians, our glorious treasure
Philippians, the servant's heart
In Colossians, He's the godhead trinity
Thessalonians, our coming king

In Timothy, Titus, Philemon, He's our mediator and our faithful pastor

In Hebrews the everlasting covenant
In James, the one who heals the sick
In First and Second Peter, He is our Shepherd
In John and in Jude, He is the lover coming for His bride.
In the Revelation, He is King of kings and Lord of lords


The Prince of Peace
The Son of Man
The Lamb of God
The Great I AM

He's the Alpha and Omega
Our God and our Savior
He is Jesus Christ the Lord
And when time is no more

He is, He is, HE IS.

G is for Getting Older

Ok, so I'm scratching 37...but I'm wont to say where did my youth go? It seems just like yesterday that I was finishing my degree, starting a new job teaching school, no kids, no attachments, just a kitty and room in the apartment I shared with a girlfriend.



Somehow or other, being in the sunset of my 30s has come in full force. I'm not saying I'm OLD necessarily, but I am wondering how I got here. It is evident in my clothing choices and my television programming...I avoid certain cuts of clothing that 'all the kids' are wearing. I watch American Idol and think, "awwww...what a cute kid," and I'm talking about the 20 somethings. I

Truly this is an age old question, but really, how does it happen? I mean, I guess I imagined myself 15 or so years ago as someone who'd join Peter Pan's gang of folk who'd never grow up. But I see myself as someone in the middle: not ready to admit to being adult but really uncomfortable with the younger set--ok, that's a little harsh...I just don't really feel their vibe.

I'm just not sure about it all...but one thing I do know, it's not the end of me. I'm embracing every moment left of my thirties and will be elated to hit 40. It's all an adventure and I'm up for the challenge.

F is for Frustration, Fights, Fire, Forgiveness.

So this weekend was a Ladies' retreat for church, right? Much prayer had gone into it, much preparation, much love, much cooking. The speaker was a gal from Louisiana and the Lord used her mightily. Friday night had been such an encouragement...the music, the message, the movement of God was undeniable. Then Saturday came.

It was a challenge, an honest to goodness challenge. I got up thinking I might get a jump on the day's blog and proceeded to begin writing about my wonderful family mom, step-dad, sister...then the first one woke up. He wanted muffins for breakfast. Not too much later, the baby woke up...both were ready to eat. I got up from my computer and started to attend to them..making sure the big boy had made his bed, gotten dressed, etc..dressing the little one in case they were going to go do something. DH kept on snoring in his bed. I thought he mentioned he might take them to get breakfast so I wanted them to be sure to be dressed and ready so he wouldn't have to do all the prep by himself. I emptied the dishwasher and reloaded, moved a load of laundry over and started another, checked and changed the baby's sheets...it had been a wet night...but then the thermometer inside me starting dinging that we were approaching frustration mode...I had taken a plate from the baby who was now screaming like a banshee protecting her young, she had awakened the giant, and I still hadn't gotten into the shower. Finally, I managed to get the muffins out of the oven so that I could clean up before my friend arrived to take me to the meeting. Not long after this cleansing, I was faced with an affront...a personal one, so rather than doing what we've prepared to do, I called out to my husband to speak to his son about his words and the next thing I know I'm in the middle of a firestorm. Dan and I are arguing the kids were crying and upset, and I STILL needed to get out the door.

Why should I be surprised? This is not the first time it's gone down like this and it probably won't be the last.
1 Peter 4:12 says:
Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner. (the Message)

What's more than this, my friend had arrived to pick me up to go back to the women's meeting. So, not only did she walk into a mess, I was still a mess when we got there. Unable to hold it together, I slinked into the bathroom, leaving the door closed just to gather up my composure.

That morning, as we worshipped, I sensed the Lord nudging me. The speaker was talking about consuming fire...that God is a consuming fire...but that there had been 'burn bans' in our hearts that were places we would not let him go. I knew exactly what the Lord was talking about...Control...I was still struggling for CONTROL of what was happening in the house while I was not even going to be there. I sensed him opening my hands and taking that away. It was exactly what I needed. I prayed that he would burn out every bit of that control that was choking out my very life and the life that he intended for me and for my family. While I will not say that I think God sent me that tornado of a morning, I can say with confidence that he used it for my good. He wants the best for me. He wants me to learn to trust Him and to let go of all that hinders. He wants to burn away all that ensnares and entangles to purify me and make me an instrument of his peace.

Lord, burn it all away, no more of me but you and your light for the world to see.

E is for Empty

I have thought and thought and thought about what I might write down for this day, since it's not Easter Sunday, Easter Eggs are out. So how will I fill this space on my blog? Could I possibly leave it EMPTY?


This morning, I got up earlier than usual, still pondering what I might write about today. I thought I'd write about examining myself/my motives, but it was a little too touchy for me. I'm not ready to bare that much so soon. I considered writing about exalting the Lord but nothing would flow...it felt contrived and mechanical. Elisabeth Elliot? That's 2 Es and she's been one of my heroes in the faith because of her steadfast trust in God as the Blessed Controller of all things...not of it sat right.



When it came to today, I had nothing. I was empty of words to share, thoughts to write down...beyond that I was crazy busy. A classmate of my 5yo has a new baby at home, so I cooked them a meal. His teacher has wanted me to make a cake for her friend with my best buttercream. I prepared homemade pizza to share with our neighbors from down the street. Our women's ministry is having our spring retreat and I agreed to make 7layer dip and some cupcakes to share.



It seems I spent every moment doing something for everyone else and while i'm exhausted, and my kitchen seems to be post-earthquake material, I am elated. I was given the opportunity to share in Christ's sufferings, emptying myself of myself for the sake of others.



I've quoted him before, but i will leave you with a quote from St. Francis of Assisi:



It is in giving that we receive

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life

Make me an instrument of your peace.

I want to know what it is like to follow you.

When men look at me, I want them to see the Light of the World inside.

D is for Dial it back

In this fast paced, instant-gratification focused world, one thing is definitely needed if one is to find peace and contentment: Dialing it back a notch. Whether it is the noise level of the kids in the classroom or household or the amount of activities we participate in, couldn't we all stand to dial it back a bit. Do I really need to fill up every possible second with noise/activity/SOMETHING?!



Perhaps this is why it's so often in the Bible that we are to WAIT...not just wait, but to wait PATIENTLY. The first entry from http://dictionary.com/ says to wait is to rest or remain in expectation. Resting or remaining in expectation cannot happen if I'm grousing, huffing, puffing, patting my foot, letting the stress rise, or if I'm doing my part to 'help God out.' Seriously, who am I kidding?!



Dialing it back is so much more than just ceasing striving. It's about Daily Direct Dependence upon God. . .In my faith life, it is trusting Him to do the BEST, be the BEST, give the BEST for me, without questioning His Decision or His Design. This is what I want the pattern of my life to be, but more often than not, I'm treating myself to something rather than waiting on my Heavenly Papa to show me that He knows what I like and that He wants to be the one who gets to give it to me

Let the cry of my heart be Papa, I want to know you more. I want to follow you. Take me away with you that I can taste and see that you are good.

C is for Control

This one is a hard one for me. Control is something I've worshipped, to be perfectly blunt about it. I want control over things I can't control. The serenity prayer was written for me, I'm certain.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

It boils down to control. I want to be able to control my children. I want to be able to control my husband. I want to be able to control that moron driver that just cut me off. I want to be able to control myself.

This is where the rubber meets the road, though. The more I grab at and scratch for control, the less I seem to have. I'm short with my kids, rude to my husband, and mad at myself. This doesn't really sound like the Abundant Life I was promised. So what is the key?

In Matthew 16:25 Jesus says:
Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

I think He's speaking of control here. If I want to live my life the way I want to, it's not really gonna be all that great. Giving control to Him unlocks the door to that abundant life.

Eugene Petersen's paraphrase puts it like this:

Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat, I am. Don't run from suffering [giving up your own will or your level of control], embrace it. Follow me [look at what I am doing, and do it. Do things MY way]. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, of finding yourself, your true self. What kind of a deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?


Lord, forgive me. I've continued to try to get in the driver's seat. I see that I need to give control to you in order to find it over myself. You are a loving Father and you will not lead me astray. I love you.