Monday, April 11, 2011

F is for Facebook, fighting, fails, forgiveness

Ok, I had to do it. I have to admit my Facebook addiction, right here and now. I find that my day, if not planned to the nth detail, falls into a pattern of trolling on facebook, checking statuses, playing games, commenting on pictures, wall posts, what have you. What is it about this social media thing that is SO alluring? Many of the folks on my friends list are folks I don't really see in real life, even though I have deleted many with whom I don't have face-to-face interaction. It's still a work in progress...until I get another friend request.

Today was one of those sort of days that wasn't planned. I ended up spending a large amount of time at the computer but not writing. And what bugs me is that that is not why I'm irked. Someone posted today that they heard a lady scream at her kid that she was gonna smack the kid out of his/her seat. All this happened whilst my fb friend was at a restaurant with her 4 year old who was still asking the question why does the lady wanna hit her baby?

I'll admit it flew all over me and not in a good way. First off, I want to say that what the lady did was NOT right, nor did my comments about the post in any way construe that I think that what she did was right. The reason it flew all over me was because it was one of those scenarios in which the posts ended up being a judgement fest on this lady. YES, what she did was wrong. YES, she needed to have done it differently, NO the kid didn't deserved to be treated that way. But whoever looks into those situations and says to themselves, "That wasn't right, but perhaps she doesn't know how else to handle the situation?"

I will also admit, I'm there sometimes, right there with that lady, saying the wrongest (yes...the wrongest) thing to my kid. Getting caught up in the heat of the moment happens in the best of families. Thankfully, I'm learning to ask for forgiveness. It is not easy. Maybe i wanna take up this unfortunate lady's case because inside I think I'm her. I don't wanna come down on her. I don't wanna suggest that the children be taken away from her. I wish I knew how to help her. I wish I knew how to help me in those times that I just plumb do the wrong thing.

What got my goat in this was that everyone was so smug and self-righteous. "I would NEVER do that..." Why, I've gotten mad at little Johnny plenty of times, but I never ever ever would let those words come out of my mouth." Really? I guess I just wish I were as perfect as the shocked parties. But I'm not. If I'm being really honest with myself, I let things pile up and overwhelm me so much to the point that I'm really not nice to be around. I wanna know how to get off this expressway of negative emotion but there seems to be no off ramp. Coupled with that is all the perfect moms who never say or do the wrong thing with their own kids, who can I turn to? Not them, that's for sure. So I'm left to suffer in silence. And I'm not the only one suffering. We all are, hubs and kids alike.

For now, I guess I'll take comfort in the fact I have under 20 subscribers who will even read this. A few of them I actually get to see in real life. In the meantime, I'll just thank facebook for actually being a tool to help me find a way out.


  1. I don't go to Facebook much of late since I've been so consumed with blogging activities. Last night I got a friend request from a guy who used to live next door to me and was one of my best friends over 40 years ago. Weird how people can filter back to us via social networking.

    Tossing It Out
    Twitter hashtag: #atozchallenge

  2. I didn't know you were doing the A to Z Challenge! I am glad to read more from you, I love your blog. I love your honesty too... and I am right there with you on both counts (which means, you can call ME during those times because I have so been the one saying things I shouldn't in public and private too... somehow those "perfect moms" manage to have "perfect kids" who don't need discipline in public too, but I haven't figured that one out yet!). My day tends to fall into too much time on FB or checking e-mail when it isn't planned too... but I can't seem to find the balance of having time for the computer (FB, blog, etc) and having time to do everything else in life (or even 1/2 of it). It seems to always be one or the other.


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I belong to Jesus. I am married to Dan. I am mom to Pearce and Garner. I am a musician, a cook, a taxi driver, a teacher, a manager. I am me.