This morning, I locked myself into the bathroom with my bible, my notebook, and My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.
I must find a way to lock out the distractions. This helped a lot even though the boy had awakened when I went in. To my surprise, he left me alone.
The title of the reading was Deserter or Disciple. Boy, does God ever know what's going on in my heart! The gist of it was regarding staying in the light of God's word to me rather than looking at what others are doing or how they are walking. His word is such a lightning rod into my soul, even though He is quite gentle with me. I asked him to show me any area in which I was not walking in the light of His Word for me.
I sensed him saying that I had been taking liberties with time. I've been filling my day with all sorts of things that don't matter...just wasting time playing mah jongg on the computer, not being punctual (disrespecting others with timing) and basically not taking care of the things that are important such as making my house a home.
I am thankful that He is willing to lead me, the mess that I am. I am thankful that He is willing to talk to me without withholding His love for me. I am thankful that He is showing me how I can trust Him to be all that I need.