O is for Outdoors

OH there is nothing quite like a night out under stars, around a fire, cooking hot dogs and s'mores. What a great memory we built this weekend. My close friend and I took my kiddos ages 5 and 2 on their first outdoor adventure. All week there was the build up. It was cool just to see the wonder of the great big world in my 5 year old's eyes. He was so adorable out there. He was a big helper since he was the only guy around. He loved it. He set the table, helped pop the tents.

He also got the chance to ride his bike unfettered by the street that is sometimes a speed course on our street. He wanted to ride everywhere and be free. It was such an honor to share this with him because he honestly appreciated it. The 2yo was just glad to be a part, but Pearce, really loved it.

I'm not going to use this blog as a platform for what's wrong in our society, but I will say that being able to be out there was a way to partially reclaim some of what's been lost over the years to technology, blipping and beeping, flashing and whirring. Being outdoors where you are not in control. You get to see your place in this world. You are small. Exactly as it should be.

(M)y (N)ame

I've never liked it...even a little bit. Jeanice Lynlee Lott is the name my parents gave me. (M)y (n)ickname was supposed to be Jinni. I didn't like that either. In the early 1970s, when I was born, Jenni, Jennifer, Jenny, was all too common. Lots of times people misspelled it, which I hated. I hated having to tell people, "No, it's not Jenni/Jenny or any of the above." Worse than that, I hated that I didn't ever get to buy one of these neat personalized things because they only used Jenni or Jenny.

I remember that my Great Aunt Dot bought me a tan coin purse back in 1985 with the name Jenni on it. I took it as an opportunity to take back all that I'd lost by being given the name Jinni. I started spelling my name Jenni...how completely pompous was that? My parents had chosen my name and trampled upon their choice with combat boots. They made my name up as some in the South are wont to do. Jean was my paternal grandmother's name, Clarice was my maternal grandmother's name, smash 'em together you get Jeanice. Lyn was from my mother's name Linda and Lee was my dad's middle name and voila'. A completely unique name created by my parents and their vision for me to stand out from the sea of Jennifers/Jennis/Jennies but the truth was, I just wanted to fit into a nice neat pre-printed label. I didn't want to be Jinni/Jeanice or any of it. I wanted to call the shots on what my name would be. ...the horror!

I guess what makes this all the more a tale of woe, at least on my part is that this behavior/rejection was not only of my parents, but really also of God. He is the one that decides who gets to be our parents, which in turn is the deciding factor for what country we live in, what sort of lifestyle/socio-economic background we'll have. He determines all this without even asking us. For He is the blessed controller of all things...which he uses for our ultimate good--to draw us to him. How utterly and grossly arrogant of me to have changed my name, the spelling of it at least...and now it's too late to go back, or so it would seem.

Papa God, please forgive me for my contempt of the way You run things. You do all things well. You knew exactly what you were doing when you placed me with the family you gave me, the parents I have, the siblings, all this. I confess to you that i am not God, nor a god. I am your child, your servant. I will seek to honor you in all my ways because you are worthy of my life, my love, my all.

L is for Laundry

Before you run screaming from the sheer terror that it invokes, I ask you to consider laundry.

• as evidence of your blessings. The fact is, we have more clothing as individuals than do many towns in third world countries. We have summer clothes, winter clothes, dress-up/Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes, play clothes, sports outfits, pajamas, underclothes. I am THANKFUL that I have a change of clothes and multiple pairs of underwear. All this is possible because of LAUNDRY
• as evidence of one thing that doesn't change much: Entropy...our clothes are constantly in a state of getting dirtier and dirtier, just by virtue of being worn. The good news is, this is temporary. The Bible says we'll be made new, no longer clothed in decaying bodies or clothes that are getting dirtier by the moment. We will be CHANGED!
• as a reminder that we are fallen. Cursed is the ground because of you, God says to Adam, through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. Those of you who've stared at the grandeur of what the FlyLady, Marla Cilley calls Mount Washmore, know the painful toil it is.
• as a picture of what Christ has done for me. I go through life and get dirt and muck on me but in the washing machine of his love I'm made clean and right before God.
• as a reminder of the progress we've made. We no longer have to use stones and lake water to clean our clothes. The machines we're using today are more efficient and effortless than those of days gone by....yet the task remains still to be done, that is unless someone comes up with a way to make disposeable clothing--even though that would probably set the ecologists/tree-huggin' folk off on more than one account.

As I sit and write this, I'm thankful for my slaves that are working hard so that I don't have to, thankful that I have clothes to wash and electricity with which to wash them. Life is good.

J and K are for JUST KEEP...

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
-Dory from Finding Nemo.

It's funny how you can find a little inspiration even from a cartoon movie that the kids just HAVE to watch over and over and over and over ad infinitum. When I joined this challenge, I was already behind. I knew I had to do something to catch up. That's when I started thinking of this song.

I remember when I used to teach school and they'd have awards ceremony. The speaker for one of those events told about a man who'd never missed a day of work in 40 years. I suppose you'd be hard pressed to find many people with the same work ethic. Those who come to work every day, even when not feeling their best, to do their share.

As I sit and type this, I have a 2 year old calling, persistently, "mommy....mommy....mommy,... MOMMY, MOoooooooooo0mmy..." Even at this tender age, she understands that even if I answer her, she has to just keep calling my name so that I'll come into the kitchen to answer her request (or demand, depending on which side of the wall you're on).

Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray
and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither
feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept
coming to him with the plea, ' Grant me justice against my adversary.

"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I
don't fear God or care about ment, yet because this widow [just] keeps bothering
me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out
with her coming.

And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God
bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will
he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and
quickly, too. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" Luke 18:1-8

How many times do I just ask and assume that God said no? Why can't I be more persistent like my kids. They NEVER seem relent when it comes to asking for bzzert, a toy, to play a game.

Lord, help me learn this lesson well...to JUST KEEP going, to JUST KEEP asking, to JUST KEEP seeking, to JUST KEEP knocking. Open my eyes that I may see life as you see it, not as it appears to me.

He Is (yes, that is TWO letters, I'm closing in!)

In Genesis, HE's the Breath of Life
In Exodus, the Passover Lamb
In Leviticus, He's the High Priest
Numbers, the Fire by Night
Deuteronomy, He's Moses' voice
In Joshua, He is Salvation's Choice

Judges, Law Giver
Ruth, the Kinsman-Redeemer
First and Second Samuel, our Trusted Prophet
In Kings and Chronicles He's Sovereign

Ezra, True and Faithful Scribe
Nehemiah, He's rebuilder of broken walls and lives
In Esther, He's Mordecai's Courage
In Job, the Timeless Redeemer

In Psalms, He's our Morning Song
In Proverbs, He's Wisdom's Cry
Ecclesiastes, the Time and Season
Song of Solomon, He is the lover's dream



He is, He is, HE IS!



In Isaiah, He's Prince of Peace
In Jeremiah, the weeping prophet
In Lamentations, the cry for Israel
Ezekiel, the call from sin

In Daniel, the stranger in the fire

In Hosea, He is forever faithful
In Joel, He's the Spirit's power
In Amos, the arms that carry us

In Obadiah, He's the Lord our Savior
In Jonah, He's the great missionary

In Micah, the promise of peace
In Nahum, He is our strength and shield

In Habakkuk and Zephaniah, he is pleading for revival
In Haggai, He restores a lost heritage
In Zechariah, our Fountain

In Malachi, He is the Son of Righteousness with Healing in his Wings


He is, He is, HE IS!

In Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, He is God, Man, Messiah
In Acts, He is fire from Heaven
In Romans, He's the grace of God
In Corinthians, the power of love
In Galatians, He is freedom from the curse of sin



In Ephesians, our glorious treasure
Philippians, the servant's heart
In Colossians, He's the godhead trinity
Thessalonians, our coming king

In Timothy, Titus, Philemon, He's our mediator and our faithful pastor

In Hebrews the everlasting covenant
In James, the one who heals the sick
In First and Second Peter, He is our Shepherd
In John and in Jude, He is the lover coming for His bride.
In the Revelation, He is King of kings and Lord of lords


The Prince of Peace
The Son of Man
The Lamb of God
The Great I AM

He's the Alpha and Omega
Our God and our Savior
He is Jesus Christ the Lord
And when time is no more

He is, He is, HE IS.

G is for Getting Older

Ok, so I'm scratching 37...but I'm wont to say where did my youth go? It seems just like yesterday that I was finishing my degree, starting a new job teaching school, no kids, no attachments, just a kitty and room in the apartment I shared with a girlfriend.



Somehow or other, being in the sunset of my 30s has come in full force. I'm not saying I'm OLD necessarily, but I am wondering how I got here. It is evident in my clothing choices and my television programming...I avoid certain cuts of clothing that 'all the kids' are wearing. I watch American Idol and think, "awwww...what a cute kid," and I'm talking about the 20 somethings. I

Truly this is an age old question, but really, how does it happen? I mean, I guess I imagined myself 15 or so years ago as someone who'd join Peter Pan's gang of folk who'd never grow up. But I see myself as someone in the middle: not ready to admit to being adult but really uncomfortable with the younger set--ok, that's a little harsh...I just don't really feel their vibe.

I'm just not sure about it all...but one thing I do know, it's not the end of me. I'm embracing every moment left of my thirties and will be elated to hit 40. It's all an adventure and I'm up for the challenge.

F is for Frustration, Fights, Fire, Forgiveness.

So this weekend was a Ladies' retreat for church, right? Much prayer had gone into it, much preparation, much love, much cooking. The speaker was a gal from Louisiana and the Lord used her mightily. Friday night had been such an encouragement...the music, the message, the movement of God was undeniable. Then Saturday came.

It was a challenge, an honest to goodness challenge. I got up thinking I might get a jump on the day's blog and proceeded to begin writing about my wonderful family mom, step-dad, sister...then the first one woke up. He wanted muffins for breakfast. Not too much later, the baby woke up...both were ready to eat. I got up from my computer and started to attend to them..making sure the big boy had made his bed, gotten dressed, etc..dressing the little one in case they were going to go do something. DH kept on snoring in his bed. I thought he mentioned he might take them to get breakfast so I wanted them to be sure to be dressed and ready so he wouldn't have to do all the prep by himself. I emptied the dishwasher and reloaded, moved a load of laundry over and started another, checked and changed the baby's sheets...it had been a wet night...but then the thermometer inside me starting dinging that we were approaching frustration mode...I had taken a plate from the baby who was now screaming like a banshee protecting her young, she had awakened the giant, and I still hadn't gotten into the shower. Finally, I managed to get the muffins out of the oven so that I could clean up before my friend arrived to take me to the meeting. Not long after this cleansing, I was faced with an affront...a personal one, so rather than doing what we've prepared to do, I called out to my husband to speak to his son about his words and the next thing I know I'm in the middle of a firestorm. Dan and I are arguing the kids were crying and upset, and I STILL needed to get out the door.

Why should I be surprised? This is not the first time it's gone down like this and it probably won't be the last.
1 Peter 4:12 says:
Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner. (the Message)

What's more than this, my friend had arrived to pick me up to go back to the women's meeting. So, not only did she walk into a mess, I was still a mess when we got there. Unable to hold it together, I slinked into the bathroom, leaving the door closed just to gather up my composure.

That morning, as we worshipped, I sensed the Lord nudging me. The speaker was talking about consuming fire...that God is a consuming fire...but that there had been 'burn bans' in our hearts that were places we would not let him go. I knew exactly what the Lord was talking about...Control...I was still struggling for CONTROL of what was happening in the house while I was not even going to be there. I sensed him opening my hands and taking that away. It was exactly what I needed. I prayed that he would burn out every bit of that control that was choking out my very life and the life that he intended for me and for my family. While I will not say that I think God sent me that tornado of a morning, I can say with confidence that he used it for my good. He wants the best for me. He wants me to learn to trust Him and to let go of all that hinders. He wants to burn away all that ensnares and entangles to purify me and make me an instrument of his peace.

Lord, burn it all away, no more of me but you and your light for the world to see.